Boku - How I say “Me” about Myself
Japanese is really such a fascinating language to me. I’ve been studying it since last summer (i.e. when I stopped blogging so much). But one of the things that I’ve been grappling with the language is how exactly to I refer to myself in the first person. The textbook version of “I” is watashi (私) which you will very often hear noobies use when they’re just starting off with the language. But if you take the time to listen to what’s being said in normal conversation, you will very rarely hear the word.
The fact is that watashi is only used by females and males in a very formal situation. You’ll find girls using the contraction atashi (あたし) quite often. But when it comes to men in normal conversation, you have a choice of two different words. They are boku (ぼく) and ore (オレ). So if you’re a male, when exactly is it appropriate to use either one of the three choices given to you? That is a question that I have asked every single one of my Japanese teachers, and none of them could give me a clear and consistent answer. So after a lot of observations (with anime, of course 
) on what certain characters use in certain situation, I have come up with what I choice to use when I talk about myself. I chose to use boku, and it’s a word I’ve actually grown to love in the past couple of months. Let me tell you why.
First of all, I feel the word tends to have a certain level of prestige and class attached to it. It’s like telling the world that you are male, and proud of it. When I look at the kanji, 僕, I see a certain hint of royalty to it, like a man with a crown and other jewelry. But at the same time, this also gives off a hint of snootiness and egotism. When the title character of 絶対少年 (Absolute Boy) meets the local boys for the first time, they begin mocking his choice of the word. They tease him by calling him, “Mr. boku.” The boy is not ashamed of this, and carries on ignoring the insult.
But boku also denotes a sense of youth and innocence. Ichimaru-sensei, the husband in the series おくさまは女子高生 (My Wife is a High School Girl), is 25, a High School teacher, and married to one of his students. That kind of character would often be considered a sex fiend, and the authors do their best to make his character as innocent and lovable as possible. He’s very soft spoken, and uses “boku” when he talks to his young wife. This give the viewer the impression that even if he’s 8 years older then his wife, he’s still on the same level with her. He talks as if he was a high school boy himself.
But the most powerful example, and the one that really got me thinking about this word, is Shuji from 最終兵器彼女 (She, the Ultimate Weapon). As he narrates the story, he uses boku quite freely. Yet when he speaks out-loud to any of the characters, he uses ore to give a more cool and nonchalant attitude about things. That is.. until he lets this slip out to his adorable girlfriend Chise:
Chise: “This is all your fault!”
Shuji: “Why?”
Chise: “I didn’t want to go out with you anyway. I just to try it out and not be so scared about it. And Akemi already knew that I liked you, so she told me to go for it. And then you gave me the okay about it! You were the one that said yes!”
Shuji: “Most guys would say yes.”
Chise: “Why?”
Shuji: “When a cute girl asks you out, how could I (boku) not-?”
[Chise looks startled]
Shuji: “Ah, I (boku) mean that I didn’t even want to do this until you asked me first!”
Chise: “You said it again..”
Shuji: “What did I say?!?”
Chise: “‘Boku’…”
[Shuji turns red, Chise giggles]
Shuji: “Uh, it’s nothing. It’s something I said a lot as a kid, okay?”
Chise: [laughing] “Sorry, but Shuji-chan is soooo cute!”
Shuji: [angry] “Moron! You’re the cute one!”
But Chise’s teasing did a good point, and this is the real reason why I chose to use this word:
Boku is cute! (^_^)
Wether it be a little boy trying to sound older, or a young man trying to sound younger, boku brings about it a sense of boyish cuteness that’s hard to do with any other word. In かしまし ～ガール・ミーツ・ガール～ (Kashimashi ~Girl Meets Girl~), the male protagonist is a very sensitive and feminine boy. His use of the word showed the audience that he was nice and gentle, unlike most other boys of his age. But after he is transformed into a girl, he still uses boku to refer to himself, and he uses it quite often. But now it has a new meaning to it, mainly that he’s trying to establish that he is still a boy inside the female body.
But the secret behind it is a little bit of fan-service that may not be widely used, but still packs quite a punch. You see, no matter how cute it is to have a boy say, “boku,” it simply cannot match how adorable it is to have a girl use it! This character absolutely melts my heart every time she uses the word, and it has a similar affect inside the anime as well. In a recent episode, the characters go out to the beach. A couple of guys, unaware of her transformation, begin hitting on her. She becomes very shy and timid, and slips out a “boku” when she speaks. “Ah,” says of the boys, “She said, ‘boku’! That just makes her all the more cuter!” And it’s true, very true.
So that is the reason why I use the word myself. While at 21 I might be considered a little too old for it, it’s definitely not unheard of for a man my age to use it. I feel that it is a statement of my personal character. While a six foot tall, blonde-hair American might be a little intimidating to the average Japanese person, I want to convey to them that I am very kind and gentle in my nature. Can you believe that one word can tell someone so much about your personality?
So for all you other guys out there who study the language, what are your thoughts on this topic? What word do you use? And to the ladies, what do you think the word tells you about the guy who uses it?
I’ve always thought that “watashi” is formal, and guys don’t really ever use it in normal speech. Boku is pretty normal, while ore sounds kind of like you’re a high schooll delinquent. Of course, I could be wrong, since I don’t really talk to many Japanese people that much.
Also worth noting is that girls who use “boku” tend to be tomboys. I think Tomari in Kashimashi uses “boku” a few times. It’s something you notice after a while that most fansubs don’t bother pointing out.
Comment by Hung — March 26, 2006 @ 6:38 pm
Wrong katakana for ore btw
I find watashi as an all purpose formal, while ore is informal among men/friends/etc, and boku is non adult, or the different between a boy and a man to say. But I’m not japanese neither so take my interpretation with a grain of salt ;p
Comment by ayyo — March 26, 2006 @ 6:50 pm
Ah, you’re right! ::edits::
And you’re all correct, but there are too many different situations that you can’t simplify it into an easy explanation.
Comment by Scott — March 26, 2006 @ 7:04 pm
I’ve studied Japanese for about 4 years now, have visited Japan, and I have interacted with various Japanese people when they visited California. (Not to mention a very “close friend” from Japan that I speak to in English/Japanese every day). I have asked people this question often myself, and found that the current slang trend in Japan permits the use of “boku” for girls, but this could mean anything from being a cute girl to a tomboy girl. The kanji for 僕 (boku) is actually “man” + “beautiful,” which makes sense, since it is usually associated with gentler men, as you stated.
“Ore” is also used often enough, but not always associated with delinquents. My Japanese friend uses “ore,” and he is a harmless, gentle nerd.
As for “watashi,” it is used mostly by girls, and sounds strange coming from men unless they are speaking very formally. “Atashi” is also a slang used by girls. I refer to myself as “watashi,” being the female I am.
As for my opinion as a woman…I have a fetish for masculine Japanese (i.e. the use of “ね～” sounds to replace “ない,” like “じゃね～”). I like to hear 俺 a lot, but 僕 can also sound cute. I think a guy’s speech reflects their personality more than just their use of 俺 or 僕, though. I like to hear guys use すげ～ instead of すごい and 何だよ？ instead of 何？.
Comment by Saria — March 26, 2006 @ 8:02 pm
Hey,
the Kanji for boku actually means “servant”, so it’s rather ironic that it reminds you of royalty.
Personally, I find the use of “boku” rather embarrasing and would never use it. There’s isn’t an explicit reason why, but “ore” sounds much cooler.
Comment by tj han — March 26, 2006 @ 9:44 pm
Funny you should say royalty for boku, because the Kanji has its roots in “servant”.
Still when I was in Japan I used boku in school and with my host family. Ore is for use with friends (usually male). It gives a rough aura that you may not want to use with the ladies, but if you are the macho sort, you will.
Comment by Eleutheria — March 26, 2006 @ 9:49 pm
Means “servent” eh? Well I guess I was a little off.
Comment by Scott — March 26, 2006 @ 10:04 pm
I like turning my dipthongs into long e sounds (すげぇ、じゃねぇ、ええ) and also using ぜ／ぞ and the end of sentences, but I really only tend to use them when I’m like really excited/nekketsu-y about something. Especially with ぜ. I frequently use なぁ instead of the sentence-final ね, and かい instead of か and and だい instead of だ (with a rising inflection) for interrogatives.
Comment by jpmeyer — March 26, 2006 @ 10:21 pm
Yay, JP is sekushi!
Comment by Saria — March 26, 2006 @ 11:54 pm
Don’t forget there’s also watakusi (also spelled 「私」) which isn’t quite the same as わたし or あたし.
I don’t know that I’ve settled on a first-person pronoun yet. Most of my Japanese speaking is in class which is a rather formal class at that, so 俺 is right out, and 僕 is frequently inappropriate. In english and in general I tend to be rather gentle and understated. But that doesn’t quite translate into japanese where I tend towards a number of the hypermasculine patterns (though that may just be cuz I like slang…)
Comment by winterkoninkje — March 27, 2006 @ 1:10 am
When I’m in class or doing my homework, I’m always using the casual language. It’s just something I’m more comfortable with. Though this is a problem because I’m used to talking the way even when it’s not appropriate. I can’t count the number of times I’ve let an うん slipped out when talking to sensei when I should have said はい.
Case in point I have an oral exam this week in which we pretend that we are being interviewed by the professor for a job or something. It’s not the vocab I have to practice for with this exam, it’s using わたくし instead of ぼく!
Comment by Scott — March 27, 2006 @ 1:19 am
わたくし is way overdone. I saw it used only once in writing, by a woman who wrote “I (ワタクシは) turned 30 today”. And yes, she used katakana for it. I has not heard it spoken even once. But then again, I do not live in Japan.
In my Japanese class there was a standing rule that anyone using ボク fails, because it’s “rude”.
Comment by Pete Zaitcev — March 27, 2006 @ 3:16 pm
Oh carramba, I meant to write 「オレ」 in the previous comment, and apparently there’s no way to edit a comment.
Comment by Pete Zaitcev — March 27, 2006 @ 3:18 pm
I always thougt men/boys adressed themselves as Oge/Boku & Girls refered to themselves as watashi/atashi. If a girl used boku, which she can, then she is labled a tomboy. All of my male friends say Oge & I adress myself as atashi, when I am off of the computer*HA*, I speak in Japanese only. The teachers get pissed though, but what can they do.
Comment by Sara — March 27, 2006 @ 8:08 pm
Hmm, if I remember correctly Dr Tenma and Captain Harlock used “watashi”. Of course, they often spoke formal but ore/boku seem to be used rather by young guys or actually boys. Since most anime is full of very young characters this might give the wrong impression about the “correct” choice.
Comment by Chris — April 2, 2006 @ 7:33 am
Outside of “watashi” and “watakushi”, I used “boku” the most ever since my college life a few years back and I’ve always felt comfortable with it. I’ll use “jibun” (Wataru from “Girls Side”) every now and then, I use “ware” (Guy/Gai from “Final Fight”) once in a while like when I’m flat out serious about a scenario, and I use “ore” whenever I’m tired, mad in a video game or any situation like that, meaning that I rarely use that. I don’t use “atashi” unless I’m roleplaying. The reason I like using “boku” is shown in the Shuuji/Chise scenario. That and most people are comfortable hearing “boku” if I am able to lose some of the formal feel. So, that’s my take on “boku”.
Comment by Bata-kun — April 8, 2006 @ 3:01 am
When I talk to Japanese girls(which is often), I find it interesting that they sometimes refer to themselves by their own name! I think this is SUPER KAWAII~~~! ^_^/
But if a guy does this, I guess it just comes off as creepy. So I use 『俺』, because I’m a man’s man. But I still like girls.
Comment by Shinkatana-sama — April 28, 2006 @ 5:53 pm
Mmm, not trying to stir any flames, but the kind of Japanese one hears in anime tends to be pretty artificial; throwing around “zo” and “ze” in the real world sounds … やはり「無学」ってのを超えて、ただ単なる野暮に聞こえると思う。Ditto “ore.” If you’re a guy and you’re hangin’ out with your guys that’s one thing, but use of “ore” in -all- situations is going to get you in some hot water pretty quickly. Also, “watakushi” isn’t effeminate, it’s just ultra-polite. It’s part and parcel for political and customer-oriented arenas. My default is “boku,” but I’ve never used it in, say, a job interview. Or the first time I met my in-laws-to-be.
I think there’s a very real danger in thinking, “This is the word I’ll use for ‘I’ because it best expresses who I am,” because while the person you are may not intrinsically change, your -environment- most certainly will. There are going to be situations where “boku” is OK, where even the odd “ore” is all right, but you’d better use “watashi” and the requisite 敬語・謙遜 if you know what’s good for you. And う、い音便等, if it isn’t dialectical, tends to sound pretty silly.
Comment by amano jack — May 1, 2006 @ 10:46 pm
The best source to learn Japanese outside of classes is drama. Japanese in anime and games are pretty casual. Nothing new there.
Boku isn’t what I’d use in an interview either. Neither would be atai if I was a girl, even though it’s at the level of boku or better yet, watashi (seeing that they share the same kanji if I recall). I’d most likely use “watakushi”.
Comment by Bata-kun — October 20, 2006 @ 1:39 am